Lately I've been learning a lot of lessons. Lessons that probably would have seemed really hard if they were in any previous time in my life. Okay not really hard...maybe just a little difficult. Learning how to balance 2 children, a husband with a job, and my own needs and wants is definitely a puzzle. I have found that I can get by on the basics, like cereal for breakfast, jammies all day, popping in a movie for luci when I'm tired, making frozen ravioli, saving jobs for Jacob to do when he get's home, etc... But I enjoy my life so much more when it pushes me to my limits. When I plan fun adventures, yummy food, when I read good books, have meaningful scripture study, plan interesting crafts and activities, look pretty for my husband, take care of my home, and really soak in every moment with my children.
This is all interesting to me because while I find that I enjoy my life more, I am also tremendously tired at the end of every day, and some moments are really stressful as I try to be intentional in everything that I do. Sometimes it's because I don't plan good enough, or I plan too much. It's hard to fail and have your day blow up in your face. Something my dad taught me though is that, "if you don't get hurt sometimes then you're not trying hard enough". So, I've been pushing myself and praying for strength. Strength to push through the tired moments with a smile on my face, to not complain when I want to , to be okay with the times that I do get hurt. I really have to rely on the Lord, especially when I'm starting to lose patience. You say, "how could I ever lose patience with that sweet little curly haired red head" well, I'm sorry to say that sometimes I do. She doesn't deserve it though.
A few things that have really helped me lately to have perspective in this phase of my life as a young mother are
1. Country Music...yes it's true. They're always singin' about how "you're gonna miss this" you know, when you're kids grow up. It's so true though. My babies are going to be 24 and I'm going to be 50 before I know it.
2. Other's experiences that have been or are much more difficult than mine. I listened to an episode of Everything Creative on the Mormon Channel yesterday. It was about a mother with an amazing story. She had some really hard things to handle, and yet she did it creatively. It was Episode 7. Listen to it when you have a little while, maybe while you're folding laundry...
3. The Scriptures. We're studying the old testament in Sunday School, and we have a great teacher... Anyway, the children of Israel had some pretty stinkin' hard trials. The women who traveled with Nephi and Lehi too. Bearing children in the wilderness, surviving on raw meat, yucK! Okay, and the ultimate example and heroine to me is Eve. The first woman on earth, no parenting books to read, no internet to look up what to do when your child's temp. is 105 degrees. Not even a mother to call to ask for help. No one to babysit while she ran some errands, or planted her garden. Wow, I really am glad that she did it, and not me.
So, even though I'm tired, I love my life. And I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to. When I'm intentional about it I feel so much better.